Surrounded.

Let that word sink in.
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What does it mean to you?
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What do you think of?
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I can immediately think of enemies all around me. Fear. Darkness. Anxieties abounding. Worries skyrocketing.

But that's not my narrative.

My narrative? "The LORD surrounds His people." And that includes me.

When I think of God, sometimes I think: Separated. Or Separation. Like He is so far away from me. Too far. Like He is not accessible. Like this comfort, this refuge, this stability, this agape love that my soul so desperately longs for is a fairytale. A distant hope and dream at best. But that is a lie. See -- He came down to be with us. Jesus. Emmanuel. God with us. He came down to be with us. While it's true that sin causes separation from a Holy God -- that doesn't have to be the end of the story. It isn't meant to be the end of the story. This God is accessible. He is not out of reach. He hears our cries. He comforts us in our afflictions. He lifts us up from the pit. He is with us in the darkest valley. His steadfast love is one that can be counted on. He is faithful.

And while our feelings may tell us that God is not with us, we can choose to believe otherwise. While our surroundings may cloud our vision and cause a mirage of desolation, we do not have to remain in a state of despair. We do not have to live in hopelessness. We can cast that off. We can choose to look up.

We can be a people who choose to believe in Him. We can choose to believe what may not feel true. We can choose to believe that we are not alone.

Isolation is a beast.

But...

Surrounded. Surrounded by God.

That can be your narrative.

That is my narrative. I no longer have to live in fear. I no longer have to be plummeting far down into the pit of darkness. I no longer have to be surrounded by my deepest anxieties and nightmares. That no longer has to serve as my narrative.

I can throw away the narrative of separated. I can throw away the narrative of isolated.  I can throw away the narrative of surrounded if it pertains to my fears and anxieties. I can embrace this new narrative of Surrounded. Surrounded by God. Surrounded by His goodness. Surrounded by His love. Surrounded by His peace. Surrounded by His grace. Surrounded by His faithfulness.
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"As the mountains surround Jerusalem, so the LORD surrounds His people from this time forth and forever." - Psalm 125:2

"The pangs of death surrounded me, and the floods of ungodliness made me afraid. The sorrows of Sheol surrounded me; the snares of death confronted me. In my distress I called upon the LORD, and cried out to my God; He heard my voice from His temple, and my cry came before Him, even to His ears." - Psalm 18:4-6

"Blessed be God, who has not turned away my prayer, nor His mercy from me!" - Psalm 66:20 

"In my distress I cried to the LORD, and He heard me." - Psalm 120:1

Does God always help us? JOY in suffering. PURPOSE in the pain.

Something I'm learning: God doesn't always help us. Whattttt?! At least not always in the way we expect or want Him to. Yes, He is our Helper. But sometimes that means letting us grow. Sometimes a parent has to watch their kid do something or figure out something on their own. Not that the parent has ever left, but more like letting them go to let them grow. Just like a caterpillar must push through the cocoon by itself. Just like a chick must peck through the egg by itself. Do you know what happens if either one is helped? The emerging butterfly will have no strength in its wings to fly, and will eventually die. The hatching chick could die or be the weak one of the bunch. Sometimes God allows the hard things in life to grow us. Sometimes He says No to us when we ask for His help. Is that mean? No. It's wise. And perhaps we are asking for the wrong kind of help. Maybe we are asking Him to take away the trial when He wants to instead walk through the trial with us. Maybe we are asking Him to take away the pain, when the pain might actually be pushing us closer to Him. Maybe we are asking Him to dry our tears, when those tears can teach us kindness, compassion, and love. Maybe the kind of help we need from Him looks nothing like the kind of help we are asking for. Align your heart with His. Sit in the stillness. Be filled with the Holy Spirit. "Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart" (Psalm 37:4). As you walk with Him and delight yourself in Him, your heart will want what He wants. Jesus, who for the JOY that was set before Him, endured the cross (Hebrews 12:2). The plan included suffering, pain, tears. And yet Jesus had joy. We must look unto Him. Can there even be joy in the midst of suffering? Apparently there can be. Keep your gaze on Him. Let the JOY of the Lord be your strength. When all your strength is gone, let His joy be your strength. Delight yourself in the Lord and He shall give you the desires of your heart. Delight yourself in HIM.